Tag Archives: marriage

How Technology Changed Dating

I had a great lunch with John Head yesterday in which we somehow got on the subject of dating and389361140_129554721e_m technology.

The topic came up after we discussed John’s experience with interviewing, hiring and firing Gen Y’ers who all seemed to have huge entitlement issues. John had some funny stories about Gen Y’ers. My favorite story was about a young male employee who refused to take down pictures of himself smoking marijuana from his Facebook page. Since the lad refused to take the pictures down, John asked him to disconnect with all company employees and clients as an alternative. The young man didn’t like this request either, and ended up quitting his job instead. Wow!

The point of his story was that in today’s world, your private life is no longer private. At any time, anyone can follow you on Twitter, Google you or check out your Facebook page. How does this new level of transparency affect dating and relationships?

I must admit, a few of my relationships ended due to things I found out via technology. I’ll let your imagination run wild with this one, but I will say, “Thanks a Million Technology!” you just saved me a lot of time and heartbreak.

Technology makes being shady easier AND more difficult at the same time. It’s so easy to strike up conversation with someone new via text or Instant Message and unexpectedly become sucked in. Yet it is also SO easy to get caught. All it takes is your significant other finding a few shady emails, or being confronted by your boyfriend’s mistress through a Facebook message…

2409341265_93268f3b43_m1How has Technology affected your dating and relationship experience? Do these scenarios sound familiar?

• When meeting a new guy, you text for two weeks before you meet in person or talk on the phone because it’s less scary.
• You are constantly distracted by your cell phone/PDA while you are out. Then you wonder why your guy doesn’t call you much the week after your date. Perhaps he thought you were totally uninterested in him AND rude.
• You use technology as an easy out rather than picking up the phone or dealing with an awkward situation in person.
• You find yourself trying to interpret text messages, Wall Posts, and Facebook Pokes to the point that you start to feel a bit crazy.
• You meet a cute guy at the bar one weekend and are now text buddies with him. You just got out of a serious relationship and have no desire to actually make this into anything, yet you enjoy the distraction from reality and keep it going just for fun.

Technology presents a whole new dimension of confusion, drama and complication to our love lives. Technology can be a friend and foe at the same time. On the bright side, we can assume that if something shady is going on technology will most likely bring it to light. On the downside, it’s easy to get mixed up in the implied meaning behind technology. My vote? When in doubt, pick up the phone and avoid technology in your love life as much as possible!

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Thinking Like an Entrepreneur in Relationships

What are the traits of successful entrepreneurs? What are the keys to successful long-term relationships? Surprisingly, they are more similar than you may have imagined.

As you probably know, I love reading about and networking with successful entrepreneurs. Their magnetism and energy have always intrigued me since I was little. I have also always looked up to those2956439195_69d9636350_m who are in successful long-term relationships or marriages. Thinking about my grandparents (who have been married for over 50 years) and my parents (over 25 years), I am always tempted to ask, “How the heck did you do it?!”

When researching for this post, I read several articles about both successful entrepreneurs and successful relationships and found some interesting stuff.

Here is my conclusion on traits that make a successful entrepreneur:

• The ability to adapt to change and experiment with new ideas.
• The ability to collaborate with others and accept that you can’t be the master at every skill required to run your business successfully.
• Successful entrepreneurs think BIG and think ahead by planning and goal setting.
• Entrepreneurs have a high tolerance for uncertainty.
• They also have a lot of confidence.
• They possess a strong willingness to work at it no matter how bad things get, how tired they are, or how many hours they worked that day.

Do you see the parallel? Apply these points to your relationship.

For example, collaborating with others. Each person in the relationship has strengths and weaknesses. For example one person might be a fabulous cook but not so good at remembering to pick up around the house. Rather than fight it, the successful entrepreneur would accept their strengths/weaknesses and bring it to light with their partner so that the roles are put in place, therefore avoiding conflict and moving on to more important things.

Adapting to change and being an innovator. A lot has changed since my grandparents got married in 1955. They were smart enough to adapt to the times, their situations and their struggles and find new ways to overcome obstacles. Any successful relationship is always evolving, even in simple ways such as going on fun new dates, traveling to new places together, or finding a new recipe for dinner you both enjoy. Your ability to innovate will help you overcome adversity and stick together.

The most obvious connection here is the last bullet point: Successful relationships consist of two people who are willing to work at it every day no matter what. The relationship is of top importance and they see beyond the day to day and have a bigger picture for the future. “Relationship entrepreneurs” see a huge return on their investment of time, energy and love. They have confidence that they can overcome adversity together and share a common vision for their relationship/future. Sounds oddly similar to a business, doesn’t it?

In an age of economic turmoil, at least we know can keep our relationships out of emotional bankruptcy by thinking more like an entrepreneur. We can also stop personalizing the little things by being confident, thinking constructively about how to innovate new solutions and work towards our long term goals together.