You’re a smart, passionate and talented woman. You rock at what you do and are not afraid to show it. When does being savvy turn into being bitchy? Is it bad to be a bitch in the workplace?
Back in the day, aggressive opinionated women were very rare. Therefore, women who were somewhat “bitchy” tended to get ahead. Now that there are several ferocious females in the workplace, being a bitch is a dime a dozen and our strategy needs to be tweaked.
Here’s my take on this:
Always think like a bitch. No one is going to get you where you want to be, recognize you or give you what you want unless you request it and go get it.
Back your “bitch” up: stay consistent, deliver results and be dependable at work.
Don’t act like a bitch. Acting like a bitch is not going to get you anywhere. It will push people away. Your co-workers won’t respect you as a leader nor will they want to be on your team for the next project. Others will assume you are out for yourself rather than to carry out the company’s vision. No one will confide in you or give you information at the water cooler about things you probably want to know.
Be smart and savvy instead of bitchy. Pick your battles very carefully. Don’t be afraid to have an opinion or ask for things, but proceed with caution.
If you are in a frustrating situation with a co-worker or boss, I suggest that you:
· Clarify their expectations
· Ask more questions
· Then acknowledge the other persons feelings before trying to get what you want.
Although it temporarily feels liberating to be a bitch, don’t do it. The negative consequences that follow will set you back. Like they always say, “you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.” Keep this in mind next time you want to be a bitch at work!
Everyone knows that one person at the office (or really anywhere) that may be referred to as “the cancer” of the group: the person who is constantly negative, having an issue about something or someone at work and complaining about everyone around them.
I strongly believe that attitude is contagious. Therefore, don’t let this person bring you down! If you are hoping to be seen as a leader or someone who is working hard to achieve the goals of the organization, don’t become closely associated with this “Negative Nancy.” Others will assume that since you like and hang out with them, you must have the same attitude that they do.
When I first graduated, I was guilty of being way too nice to everyone at the office because I wanted to be seen as a friend to all. Being Miss Nice only lead me to hearing way more than I wanted to know, wasting time and energy, along being left with toxic feelings of negativity.
Misery loves company. Stay focused on your goals and bring a positive attitude to work with you every day. When people know that you will be positive and strong, they will stop bothering you and start respecting you.
If you’re a believer in “The Secret” (I’ll admit, I’m a little obsessed ☺) you know that your thoughts determine your feelings, which then turn into your actions and the outcome of situations in your life.
If you have draining people in your life, distance yourself from them now! And then sit down and make sure your thoughts are aligned with what you want so that you don’t attract these types of people again. Start thinking positively and good things will come- Try it today!
I’m glad the week is coming to a close. Today is an unusual Friday for me as I’m attending the wake of a local business owner who passed away. At the age of only 63, he just never woke up from a night’s sleep.
Mr. Graziano is the 4th generation owner of J.P. Graziano Grocery Company which has THE best (and most reasonably priced) prosciutto sandwiches in the city of Chicago. Like me, he comes from a very Italian family and worships great food and his family. He has worked with his dear wife for most of his life and their relationship is one everyone looked up to. Seeing his face light up while describing a certain olive oil or hot pepper was always entertaining to everyone in our neighborhood.
So last night when I was tempted to get frustrated about the disagreement I was having at home, I thought twice about it. I thought about all the things in my life I have to be thankful for, and it made any negative thoughts I was having evaporate into thin air. Life is too short and too delicate to waste time on the small stuff. With that, make it a great Friday!
I’m currently taking a three-week workshop with an amazing psychologist who has really opened my eyes. I enrolled myself in the course initially because of my hot temper and figured I could use to learn a few things. It turns out that this class has pointed out so many things I never thought about before.
My favorite lesson so far has been to let go of unrealistic expectations. This applies to almost any situation you are in whether it is in regards to a friend, co-worker, significant other or even standards you place upon yourself. If you wake up each morning with a pre-defined “blue print” in your mind of how the day or even a situation is going to go, I promise that you will end up being disappointed.
Saying things like “my boss should realize how hard I’m working” or “my boyfriend should know that I want/need this if he loves me” is probably going to lead you to disappointment. Another example that pertains especially to women is thinking we need to please everyone at all times. Give it up before you go insane sister.
So, if you are feeling disappointed, down or angry about a situation today, I challenge you to stop for a minute and write down the triggering event which made you mad, and then write down what your expectations were before going into the situation. I bet you will find that you may have been holding on to your expectations way too rigidly!